9.17.09

For those of us with a car transportation is something that we almost never think about. If you’re anything like me we not only take it for granted, we sometimes see it as an inconvenience rather than a blessing. As I deal with our brothers and sisters living in poverty, homeless and on the streets I get a really different picture of transportation. Especially the effects of not having it!!

This morning I left the house and sent to pick up a friend who does not have a car so that he could get to an appointment with his therapist at Otter Creek. His appointment wasn’t until 3PM but because of my schedule and his need for a ride (there are no bus routes that come to Otter Creek) I had to pick him up at 7AM. It was going to be necessary for him to spend the whole day at Otter Creek in order to make his appointment. We so have a visitor computer so he was able to do some work but he mostly waited. How many of us would be willing to do that? That’s just one of the costs of not having transportation – you have to revalue your time because you are no longer in control.

From picking up my friend we headed to see Tracy again. I had seen her the night before and she had asked me if I would wash her clothes. She had been living on the street and her clothes were filthy. I struggled with the right answer so as to not totally enable her but, at the same time, offer her assistance and compassion and trust. I told her I would take her to a shelter that provides access to a washer and dryer and she could wash her clothes. She agreed and we made plans for me to pick her up the next morning.

When my friend and I arrived Tracy came out to the car to say that her boyfriend was also going to go with us. I immediately stopped her and said that I had agreed to take her and not be a taxi for him as well. “I know he needs his clothes washed but I don’t know him” was my reply. I felt like Tracy was taking for granted my offer. She became very upset at me and starting crying saying she just wanted to help somebody else. I told her that she was in no position to help anyone and needed to focus on helping herself. That was what was being offered. With that she refused my offer and walked away. She had no sense of appreciation that I had driven out of my way to get her. I expect that Tracy had committed me to help her friend and made it seem like she was in control of that. When I refused it put her in a difficult position and she had to decide if she was going to go with me or stay on the street. No surprise that she decided on the street. That’s where she is in control. Decisions like that come from years of being betrayed and hurt every time you trust someone else and make yourself just a little vulnerable. And even though she would tell you that Otter Creek is the only group that has always been there for her, she’s not willing to take the next step.

I’ll go back and see Tracy to let her know that she is still loved by us. I expect that she feels like she has pushed us away, but that’s not the case. We’re called to love without regard to the response – in fact, the supreme example loved when the response ended with him being killed by those he loved. Who’s up for that?